Sometimes your boss can be your worst nightmare. He can make you do whatever the hell he wants and you can’t do anything about it unless your pride and loyalty are as genuine as heroes on the death row.
Aren’t you just thankful your mind doesn’t have a mouth because if it does, it’ll probably get you fired with no chances of being hired anywhere?  Here are some examples of phrases you are just itching to mouth your boss:
1.    “I’m not an octopus or a 3rd world country slave. I only have two hands, you horrid torturer”
When it’s crunch time in the office, there’s a big chance you might be piled with tons of additional work. Problem is, you already have your hands full with a written report due at 4 pm and your boss still wants you to pick up his dry cleaning or do something you have no idea of. Worse, there’s no extra salary for it. If this happens to you all the time, maybe it’s time to get a new job as a storekeeper in a nearly-deserted place.

2.    “Your yellow shirt and red tie makes you look like Ronald McDonald, sir”
Not all bosses are hip and snazzy. Some of them come to work in the wackiest outfit and instead of telling it to his face, you message all your co-workers to check out your boss’ attire. You’ll probably spend the rest of the day giggling and inventing jokes about it. You can’t say this out loud because you’ll probably end up in the HR department or in your boss’ black book.

3.    “Hey Boss, can I finish the report later, I just have to finish my beer. My buddies are having a drinking marathon instead of lunch”
Duuuude. If your boss isn’t Kevin Federline or Snoop Dogg, you definitely shouldn’t say this to your boss. I know you want to, but do you really think he’d be in favor of a drunken employee returning to finish an important report? That is unless the report is about how your friends puked the hell out of their uniforms.

4.    “Hey boss, you look really stressed, you want to smoke some weed in the parking lot?”
Saying that is basically an A-list career suicide move. Your boss is still your boss, not your college buddy who you can just pull out of his class so you could toke hash in your dorm room. It sounds really cool, but that just won’t work in the corporate world.

5.    “Sir, who’s that foxy redhead you were getting close with last night at the bar? Is she a friend of your wife?”
Although that might be the ultimate burn, you can’t blackmail your boss like that unless you’re ready for the ultimate bitch slapping of your life (especially if you love your job). If you think you can blackmail him into giving you a higher salary, think twice. He can easily put you down like a bottle of cheap beer. If you believe in the glory of your intelligence and wits, be careful not to make a fool out of yourself.

6.    “Hey boss, your grammar is whack. Ever heard of subject-verb agreement?”
Competition in the office is fierce. Don’t you just wish you can do whatever when you feel you’re more competent than the man in charge? I know you all want to gag yourself in laughter every time your boss says “gooder” or “did you finished the task not yet?”. Instead of jeopardizing your career just to correct a grammar problem, just laugh at it. At least you have something to laugh at every time you look at an English book.

7.    “You give shitty directions and your leadership is worse than a crippled man trying to tame a bull, sir”
You know your boss gives instructions like an animal trainer, but instead of saying it to his/her face, creep in smoothly by saying “I think if we go this direction, the outcome will be a lot better” without trying to sound arrogant and cocky. If you feel your boss is like this, just do your job and be glad you can ease your way out of complicated situations by blaming his poor leadership (just kidding).

8.    “Sir, The sound of your voice reminds me of the yelping madness in a barbaric torture chamber”
You can’t do anything about your boss’ annoying voice. You just can’t stand up and throw a tantrum because you’re listening to the serenity of Tori Amos’ album or John Mayer’s whack single. Deal with it professionally, and when we mean professionally we say put a duck tape around your bosses head (again, kidding). Or you can just ignore him/her and do your job.

9.    “Oh, you look extra ugly today, sir. Maybe a little perfume should do the trick?”
Tell everyone’s ugly, just not your boss. Everyone can’t take away your job. Your boss can.

10.    “You’re breath stinks big time, boss”
When you tell this to your boss, it’s the beginning of an awkward non-speaking professional life.